sadly, a first for me........

I've often said that being a caterer is a much more rewarding job than to be an everyday server at a restaurant. When you cater a party, all guests are geared for party mood, and all people look forward to the events of the celebration, especially if it's a wedding. Beer, wine and alcohol flow freely; food is served with aplomb, and the decorations will put you in the spirit, regardless of the status to your invite. You don't necessarily have to be a family member to have a great time, because the music invites all to sway to the festivities as well as wish the new couple well.

Or so I thought.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to cater a "memorial" wedding located at an event facility that I regularly cater at. I can do my job at this place in my sleep.... that's how well run things go for us here. I had met the bride a few months back while at the facility when she came in to look the place over, and I had been there to set up for another wedding taking place that day. She loved what she had seen, and wanted to meet with me further to do a taste-testing and talk over details. No problem.... since that is all part of my service. I would meet with her and her fiance' within a few weeks to work out all details and settle on a menu to fit the specifications of all "special needs" guests. She was lovely.... and I mean that in more ways than one. Not only was her personality even-keeled, she was a beautiful girl, and very easy to work with. Her fiance' was just as nice, and my thought was that this was another carefree job . Yay.... I love the smooth ones, as my night goes by fast and everyone is happy.... just the way we need them to happen: no "blooper" moments.

The night proceeded along nicely. The bride was even lovelier in her gown, and she recognized me immediately to come up and give me a hug to say thanks for all the help I had given her in her selections. She couldn't wait to eat, as she had remembering the tasting, and had been thinking about the food all day. How nice was that?

Wanting to be attentive to all needs, we were careful to pay attention to our timeline of events. Champagne had to be poured at the tables for the toasting 20 minutes prior to the cake cutting ceremony. We were out on the floor, bottles in hand at the ready. It is here I encountered the first snag of the evening. The mother of the groom approached me on my tryst around the room to inform me that SHE had paid for the champagne..... we were to pour it right up to the brim. "AFTER ALL", she said, "I PAID FOR THIS STUFF, AND WE HAVE FOUR TOASTS TO MAKE. DON'T BE STINGY! I WANT ENOUGH CHAMPAGNE IN THOSE GLASSES SO THAT THEY WILL LAST FOR ALL FOUR TOASTS!" And for all the glasses I had already poured, I was to go back and fill them to the top. I tried to tell her that most people usually take only the obligatory sip, and almost never down the champagne, but she was adamant and told me she didn't care.... fill them up! I went back to the kitchen to make sure we had enough, as most providers of the champagne never bring enough to do that sort of thing, but found that we had plenty. I loaded up with two new bottles and returned to the table where I was in the middle of pouring, when she had encountered me. This table now starts to mock her and laugh, all the while telling me to fill everything up.... including the candle holders in the center of the table. Since I could tell that they were in a pretty festive mood, I asked them if I had made a face or been rude to the grooms mother. Oh no, they said, I handled it in a perfectly professional manner, the mother was way off base for the way she screamed at me. Feeling better, I finished the tables around the room, while also letting my partner know of the special request from the mother. Unfortunately, he had also been approached by her, and knew of the demand. No big problem.

The toasts were made, and the mother of the groom would be the last one to make the most defining toast of all. She would tell the new couple not to make the same mistake she had made in marrying.... after all she said, "This room is filled with plenty of ex-couples, so don't follow our example". It seemed a little inappropriate, but what the heck, it was all taken in stride, and the cake cutting commenced. All this time (much to my unknowledge of the events), the grooms mother was fuming, and the amount of alcohol she consumed made her temper even harder to deal with. I started to pay a little more attention to her after I had found out that she was upset with the new couple because they had dedicated a dance to the brides parents (who were a very loving couple themselves). For some reason the grooms mother was under the impression that she was not being paid enough attention to, and that the brides parents were "dissing" her.

When my partners decided to empty the overflowing garbage to the dumpster, they encountered the grooms mother yelling at her son outside, because of this non-attention, making him certainly uncomfortable to all those that were within hearing range. They were to tell me about it upon their return inside the facility. Now I kept full attention to the grooms mother, because we weren't sure what was going to happen next.

The last song was played, well-wishers blew bubbles for a mock-leave of the bride and groom into their new life together, and we started around the room to start the clean-up. Then IT happened.

The grooms mother burst through the back door of the facility screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs how she had been dissed by everyone, especially the brides parents and she wasn't going to stand for it. This discussion was started in the garden area of the facility between the groom, bride and grooms mother. When the mother came rushing through the door I heard the bride yell at her new mother-in-law, "Not everything is about you! For what you just did, I will never speak to you ever again!". And with that the bride walked across the room and out the front door. The grooms mother then proceeded to yell nasty things at the mother of the bride, which prompted the father of the bride to step in and tell his new in-law that he wasn't going to stand for his wife to be talked to that way. The mother of the groom turned around and slapped the father of the bride upside his head and told him some words I didn't quite hear, but understood they weren't nice. Two groomsmen had to hold the father of the bride back, as he lunged toward the mother of the groom, arm raised to retaliate. At this point the groom grabbed his mother and made an attempt to get her out into the front parking lot, into her car, and on her way. He was clearly embarrassed, and very angry at his mother.

Successfully scraping my mouth off the floor over this action, I watched as events unfolded I'd never seen at a wedding before. I was speechless, as was the bartender who grabbed me into the kitchen. My first order of business was to inform the facility coordinator of the happenings, but I did not readily see her. Walking out the front door after the grooms mother was escorted out, I came across the coordinator. Since she had witnessed the grooms mother being taken out kicking and screaming, she decided that the situation was taken care of by the wedding party, and there was no sense making a bad situation worse by interfering.

The evening did end, but I could not help feeling that this couple was in for a lot of problems due to the jealousy of the grooms mother. They would now be in a fight for their lifetime over any and all holidays, children born out of the marriage, and any family gatherings. Because of the nature of the brides parents, I don't foresee problems stemming from them, but rather from the grooms mother. I also couldn't help but feel that this woman (and notice I didn't use the word lady), was horrible to have pulled such a stunt at her own sons wedding. She forgot the one rule of a wedding day: It's the BRIDES day. If you can't play nice in polite company, then you shouldn't expect to be asked to play at all. Sadly, I know she'll never get the point on that.
I was sad to think of the problems that would stem out of this one event, but as I watched the bride and groom handle the situation, I saw the power of their love. I wished them a silent "love freshened anew", and hoped they would remember this bond during the tough times of their future together. They certainly have a bumpy road through no fault of their own.

Discussing the events of the evening with the bartender, DJ, and wedding coordinator, I couldn't help but feel that this was the first time I had ever witnessed anything like this. It turned out, it was a "first" for all of us. For a day that is supposed to be filled with love and togetherness, it was sad to see it tarnished over such a silly reason, and I hope to never witness another. I don't see it as a good way to start a new life as husband and wife. And if I were really superstitious, I might see it as a bad omen.

Good luck to you Ted and Christina.... you will need lots of it!