Tuesday, August 14, 2007

what a difference a day makes.......
The odd thing about life is that we are constantly reminded to look for the silver lining or gold brick road in every situation we encounter. Some days are harder than others when it seems that the world (or to some, God) is against you, and those moments are defined by some sort of ethereal bad luck cloud hanging over your head. I've known some people that suffer from bad luck... heck, if they didn't have bad luck, they'd have no luck at all. These are people I think of when in the cleansing period of my tantrums. I am programmed to think of some situation worse than my own, which in turn becomes my spiritual benedryl fix. If I didn't have that survival chip implanted at birth (thanks, Mom and Dad!), I'd certainly go mad, for it's the saving grace of my sanity.
There is a cliche about seeing the forest through the trees, and somehow it applies well when one is driven to frustration and anger. We can't see the forest because those big old trees are in the way.... and who knows what's lurking in the shadows there. We forget to step out of the situation and see the picture as a whole, because... after all, we're mad as hell.... and the blinders have gone up. If we can work ourselves past the trees, the goal of the yellow brick road is more attainable. It's not easy with it's demanding schedule, but it is a gain for our karma box when we learn how to count to ten again, or take that deep sigh and forge forward. A simple breath, a simple count, and a straighter head for making the tough decisions. First and foremost: calm down and assess. Then proceed with grace.
The best part of the journey is the friends you make along the way: the heart, the brains, and the courage that walk alongside. Without them the journey is soulless, for it lacks any connection..... and as humans, that is part of our genetic make-up. We may find that solitude can be the garden where we do our best thinking, but with no one ever to share our journey, we become recluse and reckless to our own spirit..... a path of self destruction, if you ask me.
I am fortunate to know many people, and at times they become my heart, brains, and courage along the way.... and we all know how great it can be when someone else takes the helm once in awhile. We may take long breaks from one another, but there is a bonus in that as well. Oh what stories we can tell, and what laughs we have when once connected again...... not to forget the experiences we take away.
That's all life really is.... lessons that grow from the shadows of the trees, and a yellow brick road that leads you to your personal Oz. Tripping over the potholes is a possibility.... heck, it's almost designed that way. However, the friends who skip down the road with you, and pull you back from those thoughtless apple throwing trees make the journey worth the trip. Besides, they have your back when you come up against the nefarious wizards who lurk behind curtains.... or the green faced witches trodden with jealousy. For me, I am thankful that I know some of the most wonderful people who have ever walked the face of the earth..... they have made my journey fruitful in many ways, and still put up with my moments of mad tantrums from time to time. That's a good friend.
Life is back to normal...... I surrendered, took a breathe, and called a friend for help. The computer is now working again, my temper securely back in place. What a difference a day makes..........

Monday, August 13, 2007

ever have one of those days........
when nothing, and I mean NOTHING goes right? Of course you have, haven't we all? Today is that day for me. No matter what I did (and I had plenty of time with spare left over) to catch up all my errands, chores, duties, and other miscellaneous garbage I line up for myself. This was going to be a day of great accomplishments!
Waking early, I breezed through the regular morning ritual of preparing to get stuff done. A quick trip to the post office, a jaunt by the emissions testing center, a stop at the bank, and then I was on my way to the tag office. It was here that my day came to a complete stop.... and it was only 9:00 am. Since when does the tag office decide to change their open hours to start at 11:00? Well, being a government office I suppose they have that right.... but still???????
Ok..... they have that right.... nothing too drastic that I couldn't rework my hours around them, and I proceeded home to type up orders I had received from the Friday before. (Remember, I was tied up on the blog, and pushed all that work aside?) Well..... the adage of Murphy's Law took effect from there on. Anything that can go wrong, WILL..... and it did. Planting my butt in front of the computer, I typed orders..... only to be stopped by this little spooler sub system that invaded my printing abilities. For the next nine hours I fiddled, tweeked, shut down and rebooted a million times, called Geek Squad (no help there), used microsoft system help support (again, no help there, except to tell me that I needed professional help), and finally let off a barrage of words that would have put a longshoreman to shame. You couldn't shut me up.... and I didn't lose my temper..... I found it. Yes, the temper is alive and well folks. It certainly does exist, and I have the hoarse voice to prove it. Of course that didn't do any good, and I still can't print anything, but I did let off enough steam to thoroughly run the temper dry (for the day, at least).
So what does one do when stuck in a hard place? Turn it into a blog story, of course. Someone please save me from myself............

Friday, August 10, 2007

it's about time.......
Well then........ isn't EVERYTHING "about" time? Time enough to get things done; time enough to complete your day by sitting back and sighing relief as you check off the many layers of duties you set up for yourself when the dawn first cracked hours earlier. Yeah, sure. Give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve the Atta-boy reward.... heck, you worked hard enough for it, didn't you. Oh..... if only I could be humble enough to accept it, but this is not the case for me, for I have cheated and stolen moments when I could.
Yes, I have been busy..... but everyone else has too. How they keep up with everyday life AND blogging is still a mystery for me. I folded under the pressures of the day and let blogging slip to the side. (I had to fold somewhere, didn't I?) It had nothing to do with slighting anyone or not caring about the new friends I venture to.....it was all about the short 24 hours the day holds. All until today that is. I pushed the work, renovations, ringing phone, family, favorite shows....... (my life in general), all to the margins and decided that a catch-up was in order. Not blogging throws you off the radar, and gets you dismembered from this special little cyberspace club.... and three months away practically guarantees you a headstone.
So rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated.... and a trip to Mars was not where I headed either. However (on that note) I have traveled to Hell ....or at least the perception I was left with from my Catholic childhood. It is truly HOT here in Atlanta, and the constant traveling in and out of buildings (from cold to hot, to cold, to hot (endlessly), day in and day out) has left me with some wonderful migraine headaches and a feeling of clammy worn-outness. By noon, you can literally wipe the floor with the remains of me. Afternoon quickie snoozes and a few naproxins down the throat, and I felt better enough to do my catering duties, but with little to no brain cells left for thinking or putting two coherent words together to write anything here. Sorry, it wasn't anything personal.... just personal to me. And, of course on my good days, I spent time with my other personal demon: renovations. Yes.... renos again (like I don't get enough with the amount of HGTV I watch.... I have to emulate.)
The good news is that we have been busy with caterings as well..... the bad news is that we have been busy with caterings. A double-edged, multi-dimensional quagmire that still pays the bills, and leaves me with little time to play. Well, let me clarify that just a tad. I still get to play (here and there), but not as much as I used to before I actually owned a business. But I have to admit, this is still the best job (and longest employment) I've ever held anywhere. This June marked my 10th anniversary with this venture.... not too shabby considering I've had a myriad of work opportunities that didn't pan out. It has allowed me to renovate not only the house, but the gardens as well. And if I could only get a little rain here (and not that scattered shower stuff the weatherpeople tease me about), I might have time enough at last to sit back and breathe that sigh of relief that eludes my clutches.
Oh, and did I mention how HOT it was here? It's HOT, HOT, HOT! Now I know why they call my city Hotlanta. The dog days of summer have arrived, and we are seriously in trouble. Not only are the water levels low, but watering flowers has become a skill for the sneaky. Currently I could get in serious trouble if caught watering.... but then, it pays to be nice to my neighbors (which I am). They won't turn me in, but the water police that patrol the town will gladly bust me. As an incentive to turn your neighbor in, they have issued a reward system of $100.00 per actual conviction.... and let me tell you, the state is making a killing on this. The average fine is $200.00 (after the first warning), and shut off on the third violation. Good thing my yard sits under a cloud of heavy maple and oak trees..... it makes the sneaking so much easier. I have found another way to get around "the man", and it includes filling up many plastic gallon jugs of water. How do they know I haven't actually purchased bottled water if I get caught, eh? But then, I have a great relationship with the neighbors, so my worries are minimal at best.
So...... back to time, and all the ticking away that was stolen from my day. I hereby again apologize for the absence to your blogs, the absence to my own blog, and the fact that no matter how well I can multi-task, 24 hours gets shorter everyday. Dammit... it's just not fair!
Well, I haven't typed a word in three months, now you can't get me to shut up. I am my own quagmire. At least I can cross blogging off the list today (finally)..... but then I have to get going anyway. All the reading I did today, and the post here, took me away from my JOB, and now I need to catch up there. Can you believe it's almost 9:00, and I am still answering phones, and taking orders for catering? I still have next weeks caterings to write out...... or maybe I'll just let it slide to the side and finish it up after watering in the morning. After all, tomorrow (Saturday) is another 24 hour day. And besides, the Braves are battling the Phillies tonight. It's 4 to 4 in the 6th. Go Braves! It's the only game I've been able to watch this year so far. Gotta love baseball, and one must really make time to watch a game.
Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!

Friday, April 27, 2007

an angry letter from a friend......

Neatly tucked into the bedsheets this afternoon, I found a letter from an old friend. Imagine my surprise.......

Dear Ellen~

Ever since you were old enough to pronounce my name, we have been fast friends. Who was there in your deepest hours of despair? It was me.... holding the tissues as you sobbed your latest story of heartbreak or loss of hope. You ran to me freely, and partook of all that I could manage to nourish your soul...... and now, you dump me without a single explaination. What have I done to receive this treatment from you? I deserve a reason....... after all, I was your best friend. ~ Missing our good times together, Chocolate.

Well......... besides the obvious questions I had about Chocolate being able to hold a writing utensil, nevermind write a coherent note, I was taken aback by the confrontation. I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone, and usually avoid all situations that lead to confrontations in the first place. But this deserved a response..... in fact, it was my duty because I had been ignoring the call from refrigerator that seemed to whisper my name every time I walked past it. (Again, another quandry as to how the chocolate sirens could muster such powers.)

So, my response:

Dear Chocolate,

Although I have enjoyed our frequent and wonderful times together, I must admit that you have held me hostage. Throughout the thick and thin areas of my life, you have been the constant that I could always seek refuge in, but now it's time for me to stand on my own.... to find my way without your sweet delictable deliciousness to fall back on. Wihout you, I have gained a willingness to eat healthier, lose the acid reflux, and lose 30 poinds in the process. Why, my nice little size 5's are only a wink away..... and you can't imagine how good that makes me feel. Nothing tastes good as thin feels.

That all said, I do feel your pain. And just to be fair, we shall enjoy a last moment together..... just remember to pour us up a nice tall glass of milk....... I'm on my way.

There....... all settled. Now everybody's happy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

a beginners recipe........
So here He is.... at the beginning of life as we know it, and for some reason, the spice of life ends up being a canister of Jerks. No, not jerk seasoning.... just plain jerks. And the world is full of them, is it not? Just go out during rush hour traffic, and you can see an abundance of chest thumpers who think nothing of cutting you off on the highway from three lanes over (and no signal other than a middle finger)... or world leaders who practice nefarious deeds to their own populace.
As we ponder the the true calling of our religious beliefs, we cannot help but wonder what our real purpose on this colorful orb is. Were we meant to be the evolved ones, the ones with a higher calling, the ones with the bigger brains to contain knowledge and see that it works? Were we evolved as a species through natural selection, divine intervention, or just sheer luck? Who knows for certain.... but we're here, and our time has been recorded through the efforts of wordsmiths and theologans, thus creating the "age of reason" for our species. It only seems so sad that we tend to basterdize the original recipe.
I am not an athiest, nor part of any organized religion. Many of you who have read here already know this. In fact, I do believe in God.... just not the one you tend to find in religious texts. (He's pretty close, but no cigar.) Perhaps it is because I find that the canister of jerks was held a little too long over the pot, and the bite of their spice overpowers the original intent. They plow over the milder flavors, and to add insult to injury, they do it in the name of their creator through one means or another. Sound familiar? Take our current world events.
We are stuck in this quagmire of a war with people who do not think as we do about God.... heck, they're even sure we're the evil-doers. All because of a difference in religious beliefs. Travel through your history books, and see that this is not the first time this little problem, has surfaced. The list is long. The jerks of the societies always seem to rise to the top, heck, aren't they well versed in supposed qualifications to charm us into being there? That's their job, and we are but their milder flavors. The next step is to prove how holy they are.... in fact, much holier, and with a BETTER God. Yet the destruction and loss of life to prove that point tends to overcook the recipe. Add more insult to injury, and we are also fighting a battle with our own natural resources. Not only do we have a species that can't get along, and feel the best way to keep an enemy at bay is to come up with a bigger bomb, but we have our own planet that's acting up as well. A war on two fronts..... one that could be won if we just learned how to get along to solve the other. But in the blame of a "better" God, we tend to fight the wrong one, and sadly see the facts build up against us in the other. Our priorities are so messed up, that we are throwing away the our existance over a matter of theology. We are ruining the very recipe that makes us the shining entree. Somehow, that didn't seem to be the plan I saw mapped out in Sunday School. Weren't we supposed to live in peace and harmony...... wasn't that surmoned out so well from the priest at Mass? How then do you blame God for the devestation we produce? I think God got an unfair rap, and we haven't taken responsibility for the messes that are man-made.... and there are many of them. Why would this be Gods fault?
That's why I stopped believing in everybody elses God.... the one who I worshiped before I saw how man used His name for their poorly thought out plans. I don't believe in aliens, but could never rule out the possibility that there is more intelligant life beyond our Milky Way. After all, we are only a speck in the vastness of space. That said, I do not believe equally there is a God who sits at the top of the clouds. When I searched for my God, He was no farther than a point to my heart, and the goodness that could be spread from it. I wanted no part of the vengeful Gods positioned in betterment of one another, or the vessels of jerks that peddled what they thought was "the word". I wanted to venture the journey on my own, and feel comfortable with a pleasable God who held no agenda beyond that of doing good deeds.
This past week has been filled with sadness beyond any comprehension. As it joins the long list of senseless acts that man can do to one another, we can only hope that somewhere down the line people will be so disgusted with the carnage, they will seek help (and many meds) to control their psychotic episodes. Too many people have become victims. Too many families have lost a part of their lives.... a part of their hearts. As we learn to heal and overcome the grief.... perhaps we will find ways to overcome the violence.
Only a thought..................

Friday, April 20, 2007

3rd rock from the sun.....

So here she is in all her glory.... the marble orb that knows where to float in the solar system in order to sustain life. The only orb in our system that can do so. So why do WE (you know, the intelligent ones) find ways to destroy what we have? Not only to the earth, but it's populace. Have we learned nothing? Methinks with the recent shootings that some are just not paying attention..... or just not taking proper meds. And don't even get me started about the war..... that's a whole nother can of worms to post about another day.

This is all we have, there are no other options in the works. So maybe this Earth Day we can make a promise to ourselves to do more to care for what we have.... because we've already witnessed too many times the heartache suffered by the few who wish to destroy. April has it's share of anniversaries to prove that. Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine, and now Virginia Tech.

Be kind to the earth and it's inhabitants.... we depend so much on one another whether we like it or not.

Friday, April 13, 2007

it's official......
I need one of these..... but not for lights. Since I am blind to reading any print within a 1 mile radius of my eyes, my glasses need to be in reach 1000 times a day. I can read the letter shirt off a cheerleading flea 5 miles down the road, but without my glasses to read simple print inches from my face, I am lost.
The only problem is, between shoving them down the front of my shirt for easy access, and getting constantly frustrated when they jump out of place, I usually end up losing "sight" of where they are. This is where the clapper would come in very handy for me. Oh, and I probably need one for my keys, as they have a habit of being picked up by gnomes and trolls after I've put them down.
Yes, one of these babies would save me hours of looking for necessary items.
While I rush myself out the door to attend yet another party to cater, I wish everyone a wonderful weekend..... oh, and if you see my glasses, drop me a line. I hate using the spares!