Friday, April 27, 2007

an angry letter from a friend......

Neatly tucked into the bedsheets this afternoon, I found a letter from an old friend. Imagine my surprise.......

Dear Ellen~

Ever since you were old enough to pronounce my name, we have been fast friends. Who was there in your deepest hours of despair? It was me.... holding the tissues as you sobbed your latest story of heartbreak or loss of hope. You ran to me freely, and partook of all that I could manage to nourish your soul...... and now, you dump me without a single explaination. What have I done to receive this treatment from you? I deserve a reason....... after all, I was your best friend. ~ Missing our good times together, Chocolate.

Well......... besides the obvious questions I had about Chocolate being able to hold a writing utensil, nevermind write a coherent note, I was taken aback by the confrontation. I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone, and usually avoid all situations that lead to confrontations in the first place. But this deserved a response..... in fact, it was my duty because I had been ignoring the call from refrigerator that seemed to whisper my name every time I walked past it. (Again, another quandry as to how the chocolate sirens could muster such powers.)

So, my response:

Dear Chocolate,

Although I have enjoyed our frequent and wonderful times together, I must admit that you have held me hostage. Throughout the thick and thin areas of my life, you have been the constant that I could always seek refuge in, but now it's time for me to stand on my own.... to find my way without your sweet delictable deliciousness to fall back on. Wihout you, I have gained a willingness to eat healthier, lose the acid reflux, and lose 30 poinds in the process. Why, my nice little size 5's are only a wink away..... and you can't imagine how good that makes me feel. Nothing tastes good as thin feels.

That all said, I do feel your pain. And just to be fair, we shall enjoy a last moment together..... just remember to pour us up a nice tall glass of milk....... I'm on my way.

There....... all settled. Now everybody's happy.


Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

Where are those Dove Dark eggs I put in the frig...? Hard to ditch something that's so good- Good for you!
I actually have two boxes of unopenned cocoa from this winter, that's the extent of my choco-avoidance this year!

2:33 AM  
Blogger Carmi said...

The symbiosis of codependence...I love it. Which reminds me, my tummy's grumbling. Could some healthy antioxidants be in my future as well?

11:28 AM  
Blogger Awareness said...

ooooo, i just scarfed down a brownie...HONEST to GOD.....and read your piece.

What can I say? The brownie sucked.

ps. I will be in touch ... :) thank you for your wonderful email xo

4:31 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

Yummy.... Dove Eggs. But no! I must resist! That all said.... I did indulge in a nice chocolate/ chocolate chip muffin the other day. Big one, too. I have been pretty good otherwise.... but one can't be rid of their vitamin "c" altogether.

How goes that clean-up from the storm? I hope you had some time in your weekend to rest.


Of course! In fact, I'll bet you've been deserving of healthy antioxidants with all the hard work you do. Indulge and savor the moment... you've worked hard for it.


Too funny! I said the same thing about the muffin. But I might be lying to myself as I scarfed it down way too fast to really not like it much. Of course that cold glass of skim milk to accompany it helped much. (What an oxymoron: chocolate muffin and skim milk.)

Oh well..... a few more sit-ups will take it off. Besides.... I was a real good girl.....
Oh my, the lies we tell ourselves, eh?

9:56 PM  
Blogger Skyeblue2u said...

Oh that is Great! I keep those litte chocolate wrapped santa's or eggs in my first aide kit in the truck just in case asprin isn't cutting it.!

2:29 AM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Step away from the twinkies!

Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

9:02 PM  
Blogger The Harbour of Ourselves said...

i don't like anything chocolate - but from now on i will keep a stash for those in need of a cookie fix

cookies in community, now there's a catchy post idea...

4:54 AM  
Blogger K said...

Ahahaha! I love it! This post made me laugh! Thx El, I needed that :)

6:50 PM  
Blogger MyUtopia said...

Dove dark chocolate eggs are my fav!

10:22 PM  
Blogger Milk Brain said...

ya know.. i was never a huge fan of chocolate until i got pregnant with evan, and even then it was just now and then.. but now after baby #2, i'm eating chocolate all the time.. lol

1:13 PM  
Blogger john said...

...and chocolate reinvented itself . it's now sugfree choco !

9:30 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

What a good idea. I completely forgot about the sugar rush that sometimes works better than aspirin. In my case.... it is far too hot to keep anything unmelted in my vehicle. Sometimes the inside of my car resembles the gates of hell, especially during the summer months.... but it would work well during the winter months.


Twinkies, Ding Dongs (or in our case down here: Ho Ho's), Devil Dogs, cupcakes.... and my very favorite: Funny Bones. We don't get the Drakes pastries... but that doesn't mean there is a shortage of goodies available. Thank goodness I've been too busy to even think about chocolate and other stuff lately. The weight is starting to pour off!


I think you might possibly be the first person I know that doesn't like chocolate. How does that work? I have to repeatedly tell myself how bad it is for me in order to stay away.

Oh, and.... yes, you would be a good person to have some cookies around for a neighborly fix. At least you'd still have them around.... here, they only last a few minutes in the house. Sad, isn't it?


My pleasure, sweetie. If nothing else, you gotta joke about this kind of stuff.... or it will surely drive you mad.


Dove Eggs..... must resist!.... that is my new mantra for the day.


Those silly hormones.... they seem to go haywire when one is pregnant. I was hooked on all kinds of stuff I wouldn't even eat now.... and never liked before. Perhaps, it is just a passing fancy for you. If not, at least it tastes good.


I tried a suger-free chocolate cake for hubby's birthday in April, and it didn't agree with me at all. I might not have the digestive tract for aspertane, as I landed up in the bathroom too many time over a piece of cake. Not worth the effort anymore....and it must be my body's way of telling me to just for-go the whole chocolate thing.... except for the occasional relapse. What can I say.... I'm weak.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

A little chocolate every now and then are worth everything!

5:30 PM  
Blogger Mr. Althouse said...

That's cute. I'm sure Chocolate will understand. Besides, with so many other's who are still deeply devoted, I don't think the confection will miss you much.


3:59 AM  
Blogger David said...

what a great post. i think I skipped chocolate today, but not for any good reason.

2:55 AM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Ya slippin' again! Make with the posting. *nudge* ;)

8:07 PM  
Blogger The Harbour of Ourselves said...

hey ellen

cookies ready, pop by any time - hope all is well - have missed your contributions to blogland....

11:58 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Happy Mother's Day!

12:01 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Happy Mother's day. *hugs*

- Neo

7:43 PM  
Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

Hope Mom's Day was good to you!

11:24 PM  
Blogger Rainbow dreams said...

Hi Ellen, , congratulations on avoiding it and losing so many pounds as aresult...
I am far more a savoury person but give me some smooth dark chocolate and I can be tempted :)

Hope you had a happy Mothers day, have stopped by several times but been dreadful at commenting.. hope all's ok with you, Katie

7:19 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Hey I got some chocolate, if you post again, I might share. ;)


9:37 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

Yoohoo! time to post!

9:27 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

Just dropping in with a smile and hug to say hello!
Lee Ann

6:15 PM  
Blogger Rainbow dreams said...

Hi Ellen, missing you, hope all's ok and you're busy having far too much fun to sit in front of your pc and blog.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

For all the curious about Ellen's whereabouts. She has migrated to Mars and is now living in seclusion

Film at 11


7:05 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ok, here's the official bring ellen back comment.

Neo whips out the megaphone

3:45 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

The crowd gathers around The Secret Garden and starts to yell

Ellen, Ellen, Ellen, Ellen!

11:01 PM  

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