Thursday, April 13, 2006
















bill gates vs. general motors.......

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, feel free to read on:

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated. "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Mr. Gates' comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down, and refuse to start, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive--- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

7) The airbag system would ask "Are You Sure?" before deploying.

8) Occasionally. for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9) Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10) You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


~~My thanks to Pat for sending me this in an e-mail.

9 Comments:

Blogger wes said...

I had read that list before, but its still a very funny list. :) Thanks for sharing. :)

6:18 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

wes~
My pleasure.... it is funny, isn't it?

7:14 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

I love that!
The cartoon is cute too. My boyfriend would love that...he is a programmer getting his degree in Computer Science. I will show that to him, he will appreciate it.
:)

7:18 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Hmmmm, made up yet true?

LOL!!!!!

Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

7:22 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

lee ann~
You can find the funniest things on the web... and I did go through hours of looking. I couldn't tear myself away this afternoon. Of course I should have been working, but what the heck, the owner is a close personal friend of mine and will let me get away with one afternoon of surfing.

Feel free to snatch the picture off my site for your boyfriend!

************

neo~
You have to admit, it is pretty logical when you really read it through, isn't it? I can't think of how many times I've had the problems they speak of, only to blame it all on my novice abilities.... and yet I find that most of it wasn't my fault.

Remember that horrible crash I went through back in November? What they forgot to add on this list was something about porn spammed to your site if you made one wrong turn on the "web road".

7:33 PM  
Blogger neal said...

Hey hey my my rock n roll will never die.

Now where the hell did that come from? It has nothing to do with your post and I am not listening to Neil Young.

Anyways funny post and most probably true.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

I really liked this one, n needed a good laugh!
Think I liked #8 the best...

Curious... If your car "has performed an illegal action" would a ticket fee auto-matically get drawn off your bank account? hmmm

3:15 AM  
Blogger Milk Brain said...

i've gotten taht in email before, but it's one of those that no matter how much you read it, you chuckle b/c it's true.

thanks for the chuckles

6:51 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

neal~
I caught an interview with Neil Young on some morning show last week or so.... he certainly has changed. I hardly recognized him.
But then, it's not like we grow "younger" do we? Hahaha!

************

snaggle~
I'm glad I could bring you a laugh, because I know you've been busy with tax forms, which are not so funny, and more confusing than ever.
I like your suggestion of #11, as it is truly fitting with the rest of the list. Too funny!

Personally, I got a chuckle out of the airbag/ deployment one: "Are you sure?"

************

mb~
How true.... I've read it over several times, and still get a chuckle out of it.

8:10 AM  

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