Thursday, July 27, 2006

it's whats for dinner.......

There was never a time in my life, when greeted by my Italian grandparents at their front door, when the first words out of their mouths weren't: "Are you hungry?" or, "Have you eaten?" Nothing was more important than your stomach functions.... never mind that the trip might have taken a few hours drive, and your kidneys needed more attention.... food was the dominant concern. And so began my love affair with food.

We always ate well, as there was no excuse not to. Grandma's theory of life was that you spent the first part of your paycheck on food, then paid the rent. Funny thing is, I worked for another Italian lady once who had the same theory... so I was convinced it was an Italian tradition. Grandma could cook! It was her main function in life..... well, besides watching her "stories" and knitting doilies.

Cooking lunch and dinner started as soon as dishes from breakfast were cleared and cleaned from the table at the early hour of 7 AM. No respectful marinara sauce was cooked less than a full eight to ten hours before serving.... and marinara sauce dominated every dinner meal. Even if they were serving a meat dish, a bowl of pasta was always the beginning entree on her table. That could be pretty tricky for guests, as a pasta would seem like the main entree, and many people would load up on that before realizing that they had only just begun to be served. My Dad made that mistake the first time he was invited to dinner, and helped himself to two full bowls of pasta.... only to be surprised that the roast beef hadn't been served yet. Being polite, he ate everything, which probably endeared him to my Grandmother, as it showed that he had a healthy appetite. Protests of being too full were not a good enough excuse for her. As a matter of fact, it was an insult not to load your plate and eat every bite.... sometimes twice.

We would spend our Thanksgivings at my Grandparents house, and every type of animal known to man would be represented on the table (well, it seemed that way, anyway). Of course there was the traditional turkey, but we might also have rabbit, chicken and roast beef.... not without the pasta dish first. Grandma made her own gnocchis. For those of you not familiar with this pasta, it is nothing like the commercial brand you see in grocery stores. Her gnocchis were heavy. (It wouldn't surprise me if anchors on ships have this little gem as a filling.) Don't get me wrong though.... they were delicious, but you could only eat 6 and call it a day. But as mentioned, this was only the beginning entree..... many meats were still to come out to the table, and for those of you with "bird quality" eating habits, you would be doomed if you hadn't fasted the week before. Needless to say, nobody (and I mean nobody) ever went home hungry. It was unheard of.

Christmas was spent at our home in Connecticut. Mom would prepare a grand feast of pecan pies, cookies, banana breads, and all the sides dishes for the main courses. Dads specialty was meats, seafood, and the beginning antipasta. Sometimes we would have lobster, baked stuffed shrimp, standing rib roast or capon; and always a pasta to start the entree courses. Mom almost never cooked lasagna, that I can recall.... but she was a wiz with manicotti. Everything was made from scratch, even the "pancakes" that were rolled with cheese, and baked in her own marinara sauce.

Her real specialty was baking. She made the best christmas cookies, and lots of them! She would hide batches of them, lest we eat them all up, as they also doubled as presents for neighbors. I make those same cookies still, and can tell you first hand how labor intensive they are..... rolled, cut and decorated ones take me hours for just one batch, yet she made dozens and dozens of the them while still keeping everything else in order. ( I have to send everybody out of the house so I can concentrate and keep up with the timing when I make them.) When I was old enough, she drafted my help, until "making the christmas cookies" became my task altogether. I was also given the banana bread recipe, while she maintained the pecan pies. After 35 years of baking, I no longer read the recipes, I know them by heart.

All dinners were required to be eaten at the diningroom table, with the food served family style in the center of the table. There was one rule my parents had that was enforced. You were allowed to take as much as you wanted (and there was always plenty), but you had to eat all you had taken. So the rule of "eyes bigger than your stomach" was learned fast. If you started off slow, you could always go back for seconds, but take too much the first time around, you might still be in front of your plate while everyone else was excused. And we had to be excused from the table.... there was no getting up when you were done, you had to wait for everybody else. Conversation was allowed, but no bickering or fighting. My parents strived for us to be civilized, and we were. This was why they could bring us to fancy restaurants even when we were very little. They tolerated no revolting from the ranks.... and we were very aware of the consequences if we stepped over the line.

You were also required to try everything at least once, even if it were a spoonful. Opinions could not be formed if you didn't try it. However, my Mom and I had an ongoing thing about peas. I hated them! She thought she could break me of my boycott by requiring me to take a spoonful everytime she served them, but never did. To this day, I still hate them, and pick them out of any dishes that are served with them. I have another food I was never fond of either: fried fish, especially if they came in the form of sticks. The frozen varieties that Mom bought for our meatless fridays (because we were Catholic) were awful, and I never had acquired a taste for them.... no matter how much ketchup was doused on them to get them down. I wasn't much of a fruit eater either, mostly berries of any kind, but loved melons.

My favorite meals always consisted of meats and potatoes, especially if the meat was cooked on the grill. Dad was KING in that area. He could man a mean grill to perfection. Our dinner at home didn't always include the pasta entree first, then on to the meat course. Mom simplified it to just one course.... but made a variety of different homecooked meals every night, a special mid-day dinner on Sunday after church. It was ritual and tradition that we were in our chairs, washed for dinner at the first sign that the food was done. No one really had to call us twice. We were good eaters! We also were all raised on milk as choice of drink. Since I hate sodas of all kinds, this was not a problem for me. I still drink glasses of milk with my dinner to this day, and am not in the least worried about osteoporosis.

My biggest weakness is, and always has been, sugar. I will take a cookie, cake or pie over any salty foods as a snack. And a big bowl of ice cream has served as many dinner entrees for me. Hey, my Mom told me that when I owned my own house, I could eat anything I wanted.... I'm just following her instructions.... nothing wrong with that is there? Ok, yes, I do love salads, vanilla yogurt with honey-nut cheerios, and a whole arrangement of healthy foods.... but sometimes I just crave a nice bowl of ice cream, with chocolate sauce. Preferably mint chip, but I will settle for fudge swirl if I have to.

Geez..... all this talk about food, and now I've talked myself right into a bowl of ice cream. Good thing my son knows how to drive, and inherited my sweet tooth. I can send him off to the store to get the required groceries while I finish this post. Ah... life is so good today!

27 Comments:

Blogger Neo said...

Ellen - Damn, now I'm hungry. That's it I'm flying down south and raiding your fridge! LOL

Sounds like you guys always had leftovers. Those are the memories that will remain forever, eh?

Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

9:44 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

neo~
I have many refrigerators to raid, so have at them!

And yes, many leftovers, but not for long. Mom would send us to school with roast beef sandwiches many mondays after the big sunday dinner. That, of course, was before mayo was deemed poison if sat out. Don't know how we ever didn't keel over after lunch period! We never bought lunch at school, it was always lunchbox or brown bag. Only money for milk was given.... and I remember that it was just 3 cents when I was in kindergarten. I always bought two, and it was whole milk in real glass bottles in those days..... no such thing as skim (which I drink now.)

Oh my.... I am just soooo full from that big bowl of fudge swirl I just had! At least it will keep the reflux at bay.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

Wow, got me dreamin of the old belly-buster dinners my mom did, n she wasn't even Italian (French)! Mmmm n hungry now! Only had ice cream once this summer so far-

I woulda flunked at must try everything- no rabbit or shell-fish. My lil sis hates peas too! I like 'em.

5:32 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

snaggle~
My Grandmother was the one that pulled the rabbit entree on us... and never told us beforehand. She was afraid we wouldn't try it, and if I had known, I wouldn't have either. It wasn't so bad, other than the thought that I was eating a bunny. The was sad all by itself. I love rabbits.... but they have to be alive.

Shellfish was, and has always been one of my favorites. I could eat lobster, shrimp, or crab with no problems whatsoever... and many marinara sauces contained these on those meatless friday night dinners. My brother Karl still makes the best crab sauce, and even had my son eating it (who hates fish of all kinds.) It's all in the "not telling" in my family.

They could never get me on the peas though... those stuck out like sore thumbs no matter how hard they tried to mask their presence.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Skye said...

I just got home from work and your story made me get up and go raid the fridge for leftovers. What a great story. :) p.s. I'd always slip the dog the peas! LOL!

2:35 PM  
Blogger awareness said...

Hi Ellen.

Just finishing my day at work. TGIF! Loved your descriptive post and I too am hungry for somethin' tasty! Oh, and a glass of Valipolcella........

I love cooking, especially simmering savoury dishes in the fall when the leaves are turning the air is cooler. My marinara sauce? It simmers all day. I learned from my Aunt's mom, mama Tulamello who made her own pasta and sauces and would never allow you to leave her table without feeling completely satiated!

Life gets so busy that it's sometimes very difficult to get everyone around the diningroom table every night. But, we make sure that Sunday nights are set aside for dinner and family time.

BTW......I'm headed to Prince Edward Island this weekend. Saturday's menu? Fresh lobster with lots of butter and yummies to got with it.....on the beach! Oh, and I think there will be Valipolcella filling the glasses too.

Enjoy your weekend.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

skye~
LOL about the peas! Poor dogs though.... well, unless they like them I guess. I think if my Mom didn't force me to eat them , I would have eventually liked them. That's what happened with a lot of foods I didn't like at first. As a kid, I hated PB&J, but love it today.... gotta be grape jelly though!

************

awareness~
We carried on the tradition of eating at the table every night here, until my son became too old to enforce the "sit down and eat" rule. He is always excusing himself to go do his homework for college. With a 3.8 average, I just wave goodbye, and hope he keeps up the good work. If only he could pass his remedial algebra course!!!! (No mathmeticians in this household... all historians.)

Lobster, eh? My all-time favorite!
I might just have to sneak in the luggage rack of your vehicle!

4:41 PM  
Blogger awareness said...

My husband is an historian. He keeps us informed My daughter is an artist. She keeps us entertained My son? He's going to look after me when he grows up. He's the numbers guy!!! A little math brainiac my Maxwell. Me? Eclectic :)

I'll lift my glass of wine to the Secret Garden while I dip the lobster into the melted butter and think of you. Cheers.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

My cat Mischief actually enjoys eating "plant-balls" (peas)!

5:05 AM  
Blogger Kelvin said...

Hello from a blogger down under in New Zealand. I have come in via the back door (you left it open)of another NZ blog on which I left a comment. Your blog is really great and worth sharing so I will mention it on my blog 21 21 21 Blogs

6:04 PM  
Blogger mckay said...

i can completely relate to the rule of eating everything on your plate. the first time i ever met my (now EX) mother-in-law, she served strawberries and whipped cream. i wanted a TINY bit of seconds and my (then) beau brought me back a HUGE bowl. i was shocked when she demanded i finished something i hadn't actually spooned myself and wasn't privy to their food rules.

9:25 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

awareness~
If you lived in my neck of the woods, your son would be a star. The schools here place a lot of emphasis on math skills, and not nearly enough on art or history.
Funny thing, my son was "tutoring" seniors in High School when he was a freshman. He finally managed to pass High School algebra (after many hours of after-school tutoring, and several summer school classes), and even did very well in his first semester of remedial algebra in college, but he explains that it had a lot to do with his teacher. The summer semester of algebra will not be a passing mark, and he has to do it all over again.

Just thinking about your lobster dinner has me salivating! Hope it was wonderful!

************

snaggle~
Plant balls.... what a cute name! I shall forever think of them in those terms from now on. I will also put capers in the same catagory, as they look like miniture peas. Hug your kitties for me!

************

nike~
Welcome!
I'm glad you enjoyed my story of our dinner table olympics. What I forgot to mention was that it was more like a marathon on special occasions. There were times when we would start around the noonday hour, and it would last into the night. The girls had to get up several times to do dishes, while the next course was being laid out at the table. I do have many fond memories of those days!
Feel free to come back anytime... I love having new guests join me in the garden!

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kelvin~
Welcome!
I saw you over at Kiwis blog when I dropped by the other day. How nice it is to have a new visitor from New Zealand!
I checked out your blog, and can't wait to scroll through the list of blogs you recommend. They all look like great reads, and I do appreciate you adding mine to your list.
I hope you'll be a regular garden wanderer in the future!

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mckay~
Yup, that is a foul move on ex's part to be sure. Was his mother Italian?
My parents didn't spoon out our food for us, we were allowed to put whatever we wanted on our plate (an old Navy rule my Dad enforced, and Mom backed up)... but the rule included that we had to finish up those seconds as well, so we had to be careful in our portion size. It only took one wrong time to learn the rule well.
Poor you, for being caught in the middle of a rule you had no control over!

11:05 AM  
Blogger wes said...

I never liked those fried fish/strip things that you are talking about either. They just seemed so fake and processed. And I'm not a big fan of peas either, unless they are fresh and raw from the garden, then I could eat pounds of them. But cooked ones, no thank you. And everything tastes better when its grilled, I'm convinced of it, its just the way things are. :)

9:21 PM  
Blogger Jinsane said...

Great GREAT post!

My family is also very big into food, so I know exactly what you mean. It has defintely been passed on to me!

Hope your ice cream hit the spot! ;o)

11:02 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

wes~
You are 100% right! Food just does taste better when grilled. I am a big fan of grilling, and will even do it in the dead of winter... can't see any real reason why not to. Course, we don't get the snow that you do either.

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jen~
Thanks! Isn't it funny that food is the glue of any household? All my best memories include a table of food in the center of family members.... joking, laughing, and passing around plates piled high with delectable goodies.

The ice cream really hit the spot.... and as true to my own household, it didn't last more than a day in the freezer. (And we buy the big tub!) We're all just piglets here when it comes to ice cream. LOL!

12:42 PM  
Blogger john said...

What a delight ! It sure is fun to have grandmas /grandpas until we become one ourselves. It fun reading such account always.

4:26 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

We Pol's are the same way. Food, food and more food. I love food, but it doesn't love me.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

john~
The best part of having Grandparents is that they spoil you to death, and mine did a great job. One time my Grandfather took me uptown and bought me everything I pointed to (all food). When we got back to the house, I was suffering from a tummy ache... but Grandma had her own secret recipe to rid me of my woes, and I was back in true form by dinnertime.
(Chamomile tea... picked by us by the side of the road, then boiled, strained, and served steaming hot. My tummy ache was gone in 30 minutes.)

************

myutopia~
As I've gotten older, I have the same problem. Tums (or ice cream) is served as dessert. Darn old acid reflux!

7:25 PM  
Blogger mckay said...

ellen, is my ex-mil italian?

nope. she's schizophrenic.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Ellen said...

mckay~
LOL! I knew there had to be a method to her madness!

11:12 PM  
Blogger awareness said...

Hi Ellen.......

Gee, your son's experience sounds a bit like my own! Same thing happened to me (Calculus and not Algebra though) and unfortunately it held me back from graduating with my friends. Amazing how one can be really astute at math one year and then lose the ability the next? I truly believe a lot of it does stem from the teacher's lack of teaching skills or connecting skills.

Either way? The sad state of affairs at the time turned into opportunities that would never have materialized if that had not happened. I got to travel.......I got to go to a semestered school and met a bunch of new people and I took a few extra courses that I really enjoyed. By far, the travelling opened my eyes and ears and has stayed with me far longer than Calculus ever would've......

Yeah......I tutored too! Then, the exam came around and I completely blanked!

11:19 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

Times sure have changed. I remember growing up...Mom always had a meat, (either potatoes,pasta or rice) two vegetables, sometimes three if she sliced tomatoes and a plate of white bread and butter. AND...there was always homemade dessert (cake, cookies, pie).
It is unimaginable for me to have this kind of meal every night.


Now, I really don't like to eat all of that heavy food at night. Sometimes it is just cereal for me :)

1:54 AM  
Blogger X said...

I've always been more of a salt person :)

I can totally sympathize with you and the importance of food for my family growing up. I'm half Greek and man, food was shoved into your mouth weather you wanted it or not at family get togethers! LOL, now you got me thinking of my Aunt's famous meatballs....nummy :P

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello little sister;

Yes...life is good today. Outstanding blog about the good ol days. Gosh, when I think about the meals we consumed and how lucky we were to have such a great variety, I thank my lucky stars. I have carried on the tradition we endured during our formulating years and my boys truly look forward to meals at home. As does my son Andrews friends. I have at least 3 or 4 kids at the table every night. And thanks for the kudos on the crab sauce. Sue tells me I should market it.

By the way, do you remember the 'chicken' scenario in NH? No Ellen, they were not 'pets.' sorry if i brought up some 'not so pleasant' memories. But lets face it...they have to die somehow in order to be cooked!

As for the gastronomical events that took place at Grammas house....Sue learned the hard way. Of course coming from a background where Thanksgiving Dinner was 'boiled' because that is all the cook new, Sue had an eyeopener when confronted with the 10 course buffet for 'lunch.' And yes, so too had consumed to much pasta only to be further tortured by Roast Beef, Roast Chicken and heavily oiled peas (your favorite.) I couldn't help but watch Gammpa's face as he observed her trying to say no in a dignified manner. The sauce was very intoxicating and would have you coming back for seconds and thirds if you were not careful. Talk about choking on a piece of meat!

To this day, I still make my sauce in the morning and let it simmer all day. OK...the secret is out, but don't know what is in it!! believe it or not, a lot has to do with the type of pan you use as well as the method of simmering...IE: gas or electric. Of course the right ingredients play a major role. But I will give a secret hint that Gramma had....next time you make a sauce...don't wash the pan first! Now that's a spice you won't find in the market.

In any event, keep on writing. i may not respond to all, but i love reading all.


Love Karl

12:46 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

awareness~
I agree about the concept of the teacher being the main reason one will learn. Some can make learning clear, while others are just teaching themselves the same old tricks. My son ended up with a teacher more interested in practice for her passion, than passing the class. Over 85% either dropped out or flunked the course. That's bad odds.... especially since the semester before he did very well with a different instructor.
I also agree that history and geography will last far longer in his mind than algebra ever will... it did with me, and to this day, I thank the calculator gods for my poor math skills.

************

lee ann~
Oh how true... I could never eat a full meal like that anymore, especially every night. I would have to fast all day long, and make it my only meal if that were so. Your list of table contents were the same as my Moms.... gotta have the main meat, one starch, and two veggies; bread was also served, but not as the main starch. And always some type of dessert (which ended up being my favorite course!)

************

K.~
LOL! Shoved down our throats is an appropriate way of putting it, isn't it? Life evolved around our tables, and those with small appetites never stood a chance. I've learned to modify the menu even further than my mother ever did, and usually grill a lot rather than cook the Italian specialties. Hubby doesn't care too much for spaghetti sauce, and I'd rather have my Irish side food choices than my Italian side.

************

karl~
Yes I remember the poor chicken that became Christmas dinner by the hands of Grandpa. If only I hadn't deciced to talk a walk out to the garage at that precise moment, I would have been spared the neck-wringing. Not knowing the demise of the chicken, I probably would have eaten it, too. All I can say is I'm grateful for living in a time where food comes nicely packaged at modern grocery stores. I wouldn't have been very good during the days when you had to hunt, skin, and dress your prey. The only exception to that would be lobster. It doesn't bother me in the least to plop one of those babies into boiling water.

I am not the least surprised that you have a full brood at your dinner table, you are a great cook, and you enjoy the labors of cooking as well. It makes all the difference in how a meal turns out, as loving the craft is expressed in the flavors and aromas it exudes.

So glad to see you had some time to drop by, and understand your schedule is much like mine: busy!
I do have a new post in archives, but it needs a little polish and editing before I put it up. Take care, and hugs to all!

6:41 AM  
Blogger Milk Brain said...

this was a great post.. made me hungry judt reading it. it also got me remembering the super yummy food that my grandmother used to cook, and how she managed to do all the christmas cooking by herself.. us kids were always recruited to do the dishes afterwards, and we have a big family. when everone was around there were equal number of adults and kids. about 20 or so all together, and no one ever htought anything of it. as the three oldest got older we passed the dishes down to some of the younger cousins.. and we were all fairly close in age, and often in most cases a year or less apart, with a couple of ages gaps as the waves of children came in the family. i miss those days, it's hard now with my grandparents gone, and much of the family no longer living in state, and all of us cousins growing up and finding jobs away from our hometowns.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

mb~
There is something very magical about gathering around the table when you are a child. All the family is there, great food, and lots of stories and laughter. There's a lot to miss when the older generation passes on.... the sense of a tight family unit being the most important memory of all.

Then, of course, we are the generation that moved beyond the confines of our family circle, and broke up the gatherings even further. At least we have memories and pictures to bring back the glimpse of it, as well as a very big smile to our faces.

10:32 AM  

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