our heartache......

They were our pride and joy; the measure of everything tall and magnificent in a country rich in resources and ideas. They were the landmark that let me know that home to New England was only a few hours away, and the one sight I always looked forward to on my journeys north. I made it a point to make sure we saw them on the horizon whenever we traveled through the city. It was more difficult to see the Statue of Liberty, but the twin towers rose out of the horizon stretching to the heavens far beyond any other building that stood by their side. Then I watched them both crumble to a pile of dust and twisted metal in a matter of seconds, and my heart ached for the people who weren't fortunate enough to make it out, trapped in the rubble of the remains. Many would not make it out, and the toll loss would number close to 3,000 people, between the occupants of the Twin Towers, the planes, and the second target of the Pentagon.

We were stunned, shocked, and unbelieving of all the events unfolding.... as never before had we ever been directly attacked in the lower 48 to such extremes. And to find out that we had trained the very men who took this bold step against us, was akin to being slapped in the face. As we sifted through our anguish and anger over the events, the skies were freakishly quiet. The flags went up around the country in a show of our solidarity, and funerals were planned for those who weren't so lucky to make it through the day.

We now come to the fifth anniversary of September 11th, and that gives us time to sit back and reflect all the events that have followed since. Finding ourselves embroiled in a war on terrorism that stretches across the globe, the loss numbers of our service men and woman looms well past the 2,000 mark..... not to mention the countless number of Iraq civilians, foreign servicemen, and news correspondents caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, as suicide bombers and kidnappers complete their missions.

Reports of personnel, who gave of their time to help clean up the rubble left by the towers' collapse, are suffering lung diseases from all the dust they inhaled on the site, even though they were assured by the EPA that levels of toxins were minimal, and "safe".

The already slipping US economy was said to have dove into a recession in the immediate weeks following 9/11, although the government later stated that was false (cough, cough). Business did slow down considerably following the attacks, and although we are told that our economy is strong now, I just don't see it. I know of too many people who are either out of work or struggling to keep their heads above major debt-load handed to them in the form of utilities and everyday living expenses.

Meanwhile the war-chest funds are constantly being re-calculated to support whatever is necessary to get these "evil-doers". We saw that promise by our own leader, declaring it on top of the rubble at ground zero. Well, the money does have to come from somewhere, doesn't it? In our looking to our leader for reasons why, we forgot to ask the question of how.

Other countries who are our allies, have been exposed to varying degrees of terrorism they had never had to deal with. This was pre-9/11, but it also has been post 9/11.... and the terrorists have been deadly at all of their targets. Citizens going about their daily life, once again, in the wrong place at the wrong time, became victims of terrorism, in Europe, as well as all around the world.

Our country takes the helm in leading this fight, and our leader has tried to justify every one of them as they come up at different intervals through the years. Funny how they seem to contradict the ones before them, but we are becoming accustomed to the secrets, fence-jumping, and redirections handed to us as excuses. The means are being suited to justify the end result, and just to make sure we are all in this together, terrorism is the headliner.... because, after all, we did witness it happen on our own land already. That's enough to make one a little more aware of their surroundings...... whether they're willing to admit it or not.

So, five years later, and still on the road to recovery for some, we mark a time in our life that defines like no other before, and we say silent prayers for the victims and heros. Funny thing about recovery.... it doesn't mean we forget the event, only that we learn new ways to adapt to the changes it brings. We find ways to live with the consequences of an environment that has been forever changed, and we hope for a future where the children of the world will not be burdened with the everlasting effects of today.

To those people that gave so much of themselves on September 11th, to the fallen victims, heros, and family members that have to carry on without their loved ones, I extend my deepest heartfelt thoughts. You will be remembered.